Help! What is info dumping? ADHD? Is info dumping bad?

If you are allistic, you may not know the term info dumping, but you might recognize the experience. People with ADHD are usually familiar with info dumping.

Have you ever thought you were going to just go ahead and talk to your friend one day? I mean, you thought it would go some reasonable way, and, it seemed to begin as such, but also they told you A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS ABOUT EXACTLY ONE CATEGORY OF THINGS, POSSIBLY FOR A FEW HOURS STRAIGHT?

I know. I’ve been told it can feel overwhelming. I personally tend to assume it’s annoying when I’m the one doing it, but see also this article on rejection-sensitive dysphoria, or RSD. I’d like to tell you what info dumping is (i.e. what the heck is going on), what it’s not, where it comes from, and how you can respond. Okay?

What is info dumping?

Info dumping, whether someone is ADHD or autistic or both, is enthusiastically communicating a large quantity of words, with an inordinate amount of detail, about one super interesting category of information, all at once, interpersonally.

We can do this by talking, typing, or signing. Oftentimes, we are sharing with you something that we love, and trusting you to receive it. Cool, right?

Between autistics, this is often considered a “love language” if that phrasing is familiar to you. That makes sense to many of us. Between an autistic person and an allistic person, experiences vary.

What is info dumping not?

Info dumping is not hyperactivity. I say this even though the practice is common with both autistic and ADHD people. Hyperactivity, in general, is nearly the opposite actually. Someone who is hyper is not presently focused on one passion. Info dumping is not a hyper thing, although it is common for people with ADHD to do it (bonus info: not everything that ADHD folks do is hyperactivity).

Why does info dumping happen?

Let me tell you what can happen when two autistic people meet for the very first time, before either of them even knows they are autistic. After establishing trust, they may easily stumble into a mutually fascinating conversation that leads to infodumping, goes on for hours, and yields a friendship that can last a lifetime. I have had this experience several times.

Info dumping happens with autistics often, and ADHD people sometimes, adults and children both, because it is logical and honest. This type of communication is so natural for many of us and, like everyone, we are social beings who desire connection, a sense of community, a feeling that we matter and have things to contribute.

Some of us also tend to collect knowledge and so sharing that, specifically, is central to our sense of self. See also this article on collecting related things.

Info dumping is an exceedingly natural form of communication for many of us who are autistic. To discourage it (I’m looking at you, people who “work with those kids”) can be so harmful, just like any other form of silencing.

How can you respond to info dumping?

I can only speak for myself, but I assure you that zero times in my nearly 50 years of living have I EVER infodumped even once with anyone I did not care about and also trust. So please know that, in my experience, infodumping is a form of communication shared with those we love and trust. Choose your response knowing that.

If you are a personal friend of mine, you’ve stayed up until 2am many times because of info dumping.

With that in mind, how can you respond? Respond like a friend who cares and shares trust. Right? I have heard, “Erika, I love our conversations but I cannot stay up so late again tonight. Let’s talk until midnight, yeah?”  Or if it’s not a 2am thing, you might want to grab some popcorn, or a notebook, whatever applies, and just listen, if you are interested in what I’m saying. Again, we’re talking about adult friends here.

If you are a parent and your young child is infodumping, please listen to them. Be interested. Try to love what they love. Ask questions rather than hoping for it to be done soon. Trust me. My birth parents did not love what I loved when I was little, and I mostly did not talk in school other than to act out.

All behavior is communication and your child will keep trying to communicate despite your efforts to silence them. You’ll just be making life more painful for them.

At nearly any age, you can also talk about infodumping. You don’t need to pretend info dumping isn’t a thing, or that your ADHD or autistic friend is not how they are. Just remember that we each have value as a communication partner, and bring something different to relationships, right? You’re not doing your friend a favor by being their friend, and vice versa. Find the value in them, and give value. Do friendship.

Fellow ADHD and/or autistic folks: Do you do info dumping? 

Want to discuss this topic? There is a thread about it on the facebook page.