BOOK REVIEW: ‘How Do You Spell Belong?’ by Tiffany Hammond

Tl;dr: I love this book.

How Do You Spell Belong? is a children’s book about many things: communication, disability, autism, family… It is also about public life, and the sociologist in me is drawn to how skillfully Tiffany Hammond makes the point that belonging really does not have to be earned.

In the museum, Aidan belongs because he is a person doing person things, and because the social environment around him can change.

This is a helpful lesson for students in early-year classrooms. Young children are constantly learning the hidden rules of shared spaces. They observe which children get noticed, and for what reasons. They watch who gets shushed because their body is treated as if it’s doing too much, and they learn whose needs are treated as reasonable.

Social norms are the oft-unspoken expectations that groups use to convey what counts as appropriate and acceptable versus what’s disruptive. Guess what? We are people. Aidan is people. The so-called rules are whatever we collectively agree on. How Do You Spell Belong? helps make some of those norms visible, and that is part of what makes the book so useful.

Was the museum Big Loud? Yep. There are lines, crowds, noise, staring adults, and a child whose body responds to all that. Aidan’s distress is relational. It happens between his body, the environment of the museum, and the expectations of the people there around him.

This book is also beneficial for how it introduces nonspeaking communication. Aidan has preferences, friendships, frustration, joy, and things he wants to convey. There are many ableist assumptions about nonspeaking people, including the mistaken belief that not-speaking means not-understanding. How Do You Spell Belong? invites readers to expand what they recognize as language and communication.

I also want to mention that the peer relationship between Aidan and Caroline is beautifully handled. What I appreciate is that Caroline isn’t depicted as a savior. You do not get extra credit for recognizing the humanity of the person next to you. Caroline is curious, and the adults help her use her curiosity in a respectful interaction. She learns to ask Aidan, not just ask about Aidan. Then she adapts and plays. Love it.

This too is socialization. It is so basic and yet it is not automatic. When varied communication is respected, a shared activity becomes possible.

For teachers, this book offers a way to talk with students about accessibility, communication, peer interactions and belonging. It gives children a gorgeously illustrated and concrete story through which to understand that our bodies communicate, and that belonging is something that we do, as the collective. I recommend this book be on the shelf of every classroom.

Erika Sanborne is a longtime researcher and educator who writes about autistic life in schools, workplaces, relationships, and bodies that do not always fit the systems around them. Her work has a focus on making confusing expectations clearer and helping neurodivergent people feel less alone in what they already know is hard.

Want to discuss this topic?

* There is this post on bluesky and this thread on facebook *